just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
