Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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