his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
