my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
