trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
