you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
