If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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