Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
