You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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