Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
