sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
