Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
