I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
