Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
