turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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