I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
