im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
