I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
