i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
