So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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