i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize