That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
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I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I forget how to act sober
Randomize