So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
