I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
