need another drink. this is the easiest way
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
