you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
