bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
