now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
