Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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