everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
there is glitter all over my balls
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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