quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
