do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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