and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
