Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize