She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
