You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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