We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
