it was like his penis was on wheels.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you had me at cake vodka
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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