HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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