I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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