Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
