a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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