saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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