just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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