Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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