Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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