What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
