I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize