Well apparently he's into motor boating.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
