Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
not ubering you a puppy
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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