When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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