Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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