i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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