3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
