bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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